A whole lot of miracle going on here...

It has been exactly five months since I last blogged. Okay, I HATE the word "blog"...even typing it annoys me. Yet, this "blog" (ewwww) has truly allowed me to help others going through the same infertility issues I went through.

It has been pretty amazing to see how God has made a situation I thought was cruel and unfair...into something miraculous and wonderful.

I have stood by the verse: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
Part of me feared this verse, praying it wouldn't let me down, yet the other side of me (the faithful side) knew God had a specific plan for my life...for Jim and I.

The last four months have been wonderful, stressful, sleepless, fantastic, challenging, freeing, strapping, blissful and miraculous in every way! I never knew it would be like "this'...I never knew what it would be.

20 Things I've Learned So Far:

1. Childbirth (with epidural) is not that hard.
2. Childbirth (with epidural) afterwards...is damaging to one's lady parts...seriously!
3. I never knew about ice pads that you snap like glow sticks...awesome in every way!
4. With my next delivery, my hair will be done, I will be wearing some makeup and I will NOT be in a very large white robe that makes me look like I ate my baby after delivery. Pictures say it all.
5. Breastfeeding is hard.
6. Stopping breastfeeding is hard - yet the best thing for us.
7. You can never have too many zip-up sleepers and burp cloths.
8. Bring a new mom with you to register, most of the items you “think” you need, you DON’T.
9. When you don’t get enough sleep, nothing is right in the world.


10. Accept help during weeks 2-4
11. Research formulas – they are NOT all the same.
12. Always have extra wipes and outfits.
13. You really can’t put a baby on a schedule/routine until after 4 months.
14. Babies cry.
15. Make sure you take at least one day for yourself (a 3-4 hour span).

16. 3 months makes a huge difference in a baby’s life…they get easier.
17. Once it get’s easier…there is something around the corner.
18. Baby Swings are the BEST!
19. It’s not that you can’t take a shower…you just don’t want to, it’s exhausting to get ready sometimes.
20. It’s hard being a new parent, but not that hard…just different. I love it!

So, there are so many other things I’ve learned, but it would take me forever to list them all.

It has been such a crazy journey to get to this point. I’m thankful…blessed…and completely enamored by what a gift God has given to us. My Mom told me that when Jim and I finally had our own “miracle” baby, it would be better than I ever expected…dreamed of…prayed for. It is…in EVERY way!

Vincent Michel Caramazza…You ARE the Coolest!!!!!!

My Miracle - A Letter to Vinny

Did you know I am a miracle?

Did you know that everything in my life has been miraculous?
If not, I’d like to quickly tell you why.

Since I can remember, I’ve been told I was a miracle by my parents.
Not just a little miracle, but a HUGE miracle that has blessed them immeasurably. Yet, God didn’t stop with me, he just started the chain of events.

It was a miracle that my Mom and Dad experienced the same struggle with infertility as Jim and I. Because of that miracle, they decided to adopt before conceiving their own child.

It was a miracle that at that time, they decided to go with a Korean adoption. It was a miracle that they received news that a baby girl was now theirs.
My Mom and Dad may think that Ali was their miracle, but she wasn’t just theirs….I think God gave Ali to me. She is my miracle.

It was a miracle that my Dad decided to pick up his whole family and move across the country to California.

It was a miracle that my parents generously put me through college and let me graduate with zero debt.

It was a miracle that a certain young man walked into a certain sports bar on Halloween night and decided that I was the one he wanted to talk to.

It was a miracle that he called me three times to plan a date. It was a miracle that my hairstylist totally screwed up my hair, which caused me to dye it dark…which made me cancel a date with another guy who knew me…and take Jim up on his offer of dinner.

It was a miracle that every minute of our first date was amazing, and that he totally understood when I wanted to go home and change into a maroon-velvet-track-suite and go out again (if you know me well, you know that I HAVE to be comfortable and will change clothes at any moment).

It was a miracle that James Aaron Caramazza wanted me to be his wife.

It was a miracle that even after a very scary break-in and a heart wrenching fire that destroyed our home…we became stronger, happier, more content.

It was a miracle that Jim and I have struggled for the past six years to conceive…this gave us time with each other…just each other. We have had so much fun, excitement, journeys, vacations, night outs, parties….good times….amazingly good times!

It was a miracle that on a Sunday in February, 2010, my Mom called me and said that My Dad told her that he wanted to pay for us to go through IVF. I will never be able to pay them back for the gift they have given us. If it wasn’t for that call on that day…I would not be reading this.

It was a miracle that the fertility clinic I had been going to for five years had an opening in March to start our IVF cycle.

It was a miracle that everything in our IVF process went prefect…beyond perfect.

It was a miracle that our Dr. harvested 28 eggs, 17 fertilized and 12 embryos were perfect.

It was a miracle that on the implantation day, a lab technician chose 2 little embryos randomly…out of 12.

It was a miracle that after 7 days of bed rest and a wait that seemed like forever, the nurse called us and said YOU'RE PREGNANT.

It was a miracle that of those two eggs, 1 little embryo stuck just for us.

It was a miracle that after weeks of spotting, worrying and trying to stay calm….We heard the heartbeat of the little person now growing inside of me.

It was a miracle that after thinking my life would be filled with little girls, God gave me a little boy.

So, here we are… I’m reading this to my family and friends who are surrounding me during this amazing time before Vinny makes his miraculous appearance.

You all are my miracles as well. I find it amazing that God has blessed me with this family, with these friends, with this life. Every step I have made has brought miracles into my life.

I’ve always know I was a miracle, but until now, never realized how miraculous my life truly is.

Dear Vinny,

You are a miracle. You were chosen by God and given to us as a gift. I will never let a day go by without making sure you know how amazing you are, what a blessing you are, how miraculous your life is going to be. Every day of my life has prepared me to bring you into this world, and I will never forget how I felt the day I knew you were finally here.

You are my miracle, my heart and soul, my love…you are my sweet Vinny. I will love you always.

You and I, we are Miracles.

Love,

Mom

7 Months and Feeling Good

Wow, time does fly! I will be 7 months this week and we are counting down the days until Baby Vinny arrives.

Being pregnant has had it's ups and downs, but mostly ups in the past three months. It's been fun to feel the baby move and "interesting" to see my body change and grow.

Here are the things I've notices in my 7th month.

1. It only takes an extra ten pounds of weight to make your back really hurt.
2. The line that goes up your belly is really unnecessary.
3. I miss sleeping on my stomach.
4. Eating has become a hobby...and I'm good at it.
5. It's getting harder to put my shoes and underwear on :-)
6. People love to rub pregnant bellies...and no, I don't mind at all :-)
7. I've started to grunt when picking up/moving anything, getting up, or sitting down.
8. Those shirts I thought would take me all the way through my pregnancy are giving me the white-trash-belly-exposed look...not cute.
9. I get tired around 3PM and love napping.
10. I have a new appreciation for a glass of wine.
11. I want to make everything in my house clean, organized and enjoyable to live in...since I know my time will be limited when baby gets here.

So, all and all...I feel great, baby is healthy and growing, I'm on track for a beautiful nursery and ready to welcome Baby Vinny into our family.

Dreams

I've always had weird dreams. I often wake Jim up in the middle of the night to tell him all about them...and he really appreciates that. Most of the time he says "I don't want to know, they freak me out".

I haven't really had many super weird pregnancy or baby dreams...until last night. I had to share (since Jim doesn't terribly appreciate them).

I had a dream that I was getting my hair done and a stylist next to me said "oh wow, your belly button has popped out". I looked down, lift up my shirt a bit and my belly button was sticking out about three inches and in a cone shape. It was wiggly, long and a hideous. I was mortified in my dream and tried to push it back in, but it would only pop back out. I tried to tape it down, but it wouldn't hold. I finally woke up...

I know...I know...now you are freaked out and never want to hear about one of my dreams again. I HAD to tell someone... :-)

You're welcome :-)))))

5 Months

Today, I am 5 months and 1 week. Wooohooo! I now know what they mean when they say time flies after you get to your second trimester. I'm loving being pregnant "now"...feeling this little guy inside of me is a pretty crazy thing!

As most know, we picked our name Vincent Michel Caramazza..."Vinny". This was our original name for a boy, but I decided I wanted to try some other names out. I went through hundreds of them and none seem to fit. When I would think of this little guy in my head, I would call him Baby Vinny. So, at Little Joes Italian restaurant in San Francisco (very appropriate that we were in an Italian restaurant)I looked down at my belly, then looked at Jim and said "He's a Vinny". Jim smiled ear to ear and said "really, we can name him Vinny". Yes we can...and yes we will. I know the name is very Italian (and he will actually be only 1/8 Italian and actually have more Swedish in him than anything...we went against Sven), we decided that Vinny is what our hearts wanted.

Naming a child for the rest of their lives is a big decision, and I think we chose the right now. Vincent will be his formal name, Vinny his nickname and Vince for when he's an adult in business.

Anyway, life is just truckin' along and I'm feeling great. Baby bump is getting bigger and bigger everyday, and it's getting a little hard to get comfortable while sleeping now. I'm sure that is just going to get worse...

It has been so fun sharing all these steps with friends and family, how blessed we are!

Can't wait to keep seeing this little dude grow until he finally decides to come out and meet us.

Hope all is well in your lives...Hugs!

Jac (and Vinny)

I'm a Nut...

Nothing really exciting to blog, just another proof that I'm losing my mind.

I felt like baby boy wasn't moving anymore (he was between 16-18 weeks).

In usual "freak out for every little thing" form...I decided to just "stop by" my Dr. office at Kaiser Women's Health and ask them nicely to check for the heartbeat. They just smiled at me and said "of course we can".

I'm sure these wonderful nurses and Dr's get "crazy-paranoid-new-moms" all the time...and they were very sweet in agreeing to calm my nerves.

She put the little doppler on my stomach and sure enough...boom, boom, boom, boom...baby is healthy and chillin' inside me.

She said that the reason I felt so much movement was because baby was pretty low in my pelvic area and has now moved into my abdomen area and is tucked back further. This is why I feel less movement and feel more comfortable.

I'm a nut...I'm a nut...I'm a nut!

But I'm a relieved Nut!

:-)

It's a Boy !

Boy-oh-boy-oh-BOY.....I was not expecting this!!! I was so sure it was a girl that I convinced everyone around me it was a girl too. :-) I decided on July 26th to surprise my husband (who had been working very hard that week) and to surprise my mother-in-law for her birthday...by finding out the sex of the baby.

I got a last minute appointment with an ultrasound company in Roseville that can tell the sex of the baby as early as sixteen weeks (I was only 17 at the time). I wasn't sure if they would be able to tell...obviously, they could.

The Dr. came in and ran the ultrasound over my little bump and said "hmmm...looks like baby is taking a face first nap and needs some encouragement...lay on your side for a minute and I'll be right back." He came back and just like he said, baby moved into a visible position and he started looking for "thing or lack of thing". He rolled over my belly for a couple minutes and then...there is was...I knew it before the Dr. even said a word.

That is a penis! My girl has a penis???? Oh wait.....I'M HAVING A BOY!!!!!!

WHAAAATTTTT!!!! I couldn't believe it...total shock! I sat there for a minute and all of a sudden a big grin came on my face! My little Boy! I fell in love with him instantly!!! I give my husband a hard time about him getting his boy and he better give me a girl next time....but it's all just fun. I couldn't be happier...a baby BOY!!

Here is the ultrasound video from the appointment...it's about 5 minutes long. You will notice about a minute in that the Dr. nicely points out (with a yellow cursor) what the sex of the baby is. Pretty sure you can see it :-)))) Let the shopping begin...